i realised something about myself recently;

i cannot accept rejections.

be it on school, projects, jobs, relationships, blahblah. easy say, anything under
the sun. and i think some of you close ones, would realised that long time ago.

anyway whatever it is. life has to go on aye. and people, i'm not saying that i'll
forget him totally yeah. i'll be lieing if that's what i say to you people. the thing
is, it's hard for me to erase a person off my mind/memories/life totally. sooo,
i'll just pack memories of that person, put it into a box and bury it deep into my
attic. hahs! yeah right attic. in short, i'll just keep those happy memories and as
for those bad memories, i'll just take it as a part and parcel of life. and to you,
i hope that one day you can finally open up and accept whichever girl that has
always been there for you and that will understand you wholely. never blame
it on your past, and claiming that you're afraid that your past will repeat itself
in the future. and yeah you mustn't compare your ex with any other girls. you
told me to do that once and you told me before that i'll never move on if i won't
let go of my past. i listened to you and promised myself that i won't look back ever
again. and i will keep my promise. i hope you'll be happy in whatever you do and
please don't overwork yourself. just so you know, you'll always be someone to me.

and ya friends, when i say i'll move on, please do understand that it'll take time. fullstop.








next chapter. at this very moment, i'm just having this fear, about what? about something
that's really bothering me. ma, please do think of us and not act rashly with your decisions.
i know the situation we're in, but please please please. let's try to talk things out with him.
i promise i'll be with you whatever it is. i just don't want to feel the feeling that i felt when
all this happened how many years back. to be honest, i'm already all tired out to max when
it comes to this problem. whatever it is, that few years back when this thing happened, i had
him to be my pillar of strength. but now it's just me. so please do take into consideration that
i won't be that strong to face all this just like before. let's try to settle this the good way, no
separate paths aye. that's all i ask for from you both. and when i raised my voice, do take
note that i had to do that just so you'll realise that it's not only the two of you that's affected.

these tears are not for nothing. as for internship, i'll update soon.